Limbo

No, not the game. The feeling.

It's definitely no secret that I'm not good with change. I like things to stay the way they are, or the way they're planned, and I don't really like not knowing what's next. I get uneasy, irritable and worrisome.

I'm working on it.

The last time I was in giant limbo was just before graduation. I would be moving back to Orlando, but didn't know where because my roommate and I couldn't find an apartment. And part of that problem was because I didn't know how much I'd have to spend on an apartment because I didn't have a job yet. I was one big stressball.

It all worked out, like it always does. I just have to remind myself that God is in control and He orders my steps according to His will. But as hard as I try to keep this in mind, I am still not ok with being in limbo....

...Like we are right now. Josh has several different job applications out, none of which are in Florida. If one of those jobs works out, we could technically be up and moving within a month. Then there's also another option that would take us to Alabama. That could be as soon as say, the summer, but could be up to a year. A third option would take us down to Clearwater - no time table on that one. It's a back up plan if all the others fail.

Our lease on this apartment is up in August.

It's difficult for me to be in the situation of not knowing where Josh and I will be a year from now. Like, not even a clue. I've been doing OK with keeping a "live one day at time" attitude, but I'm such a planner that I just really want to know so that I can start preparing for it.

And then, add all that to the fact that UF has not given me a definitive answer on my admittance to their MBA program. Classes start February 10th... which is one month from tomorrow... and I've done nothing to prepare. Not because I don't want to, but because I can't. I'm pretty sure I've gotten in, but I am still waiting on the phone call that was supposed to come last Tuesday. Can't secure student loans if you're not sure you're actually a student.

I feel like I'm waiting on a new season of a favorite TV show to start. Like I was left with a cliff-hanger season finale and can't wait to see what happens next.

And, I have a feeling that it's all going to happen at once. That God is going to suddenly set the ball rolling and tell me to hold on for the ride.

But I'm ready. I'm ready to know. I'm ready to be excited.

And I'm just really tired of limbo.

Josh, Kim & Abby